An Open Letter To Atheists & Freethinkers

Dear atheists & freethinkers,

I am a devout Catholic. After researching what you believe, I decided to write an open letter to you. From a worldly perspective, you are right that what I believe as a Catholic and a believer in some kind of deity is insane. However, please do not attempt to deconvert me. Atheism and freethought are just decidedly not for me. 

However, I must emphasize that (lest I be accused of painting an entire demographic with a broad brush/making sweeping generalizations about an entire group of people) just because some of the atheists online I have run into were rude does not mean that all atheists, whether-in-person or online, are rude and snobbish to people they disagree with. I have also interacted with a truly delightful gentleman who is an atheist on the "Inter-web," as one of my teachers likes to call the Internet sometimes. He was the most generous, understanding, kind, polite, and respectful atheist I have ever interacted with online. He even expressed that he hoped my beliefs as a Catholic Christian and therefore, a religious believer give me all the happiness and joy in the world. He told me no one can take that away from me. (They do give me all the happiness and joy in the world and he's certainly right: no one, absolutely no one, can take that away from me).

And to prove that I do not view all atheists are rude, here's the link to another blog post containing the screenshots of my convo with that kind atheist:

I deeply apologize for all the times I was rude to you. Every now and then, some atheists are literally rude to me and my fellow religious believers. I struggle to not take it personally and sometimes, when I fail to not take it personally, I get angry and reply with a mean comment. But that doesn't excuse my mean comments and I am working on being assertive instead of passive-aggressive. I am trying my best to not take things like that personally.

I'd like to make a few requests for when you interact with me.

First, if you have any preconceived notions about theists, please try to set them aside. Chances are you'll find that I don't believe you're less than human because you don't subscribe to my religion and that I'm trying to be moral. I know I disagree with you on a lot, but that doesn't mean I think you're evil and vindictive.

However, I've seen that some of you do believe all theists are immoral and arrogant bullies. In those cases, I will leave you alone or not even approach the situation from now on.

One of my favorite stories, Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera," has taught me a lot about sympathy and the harm of viewing and treating others as less than human.

The title character is deformed on the right side of his face. He was born with the deformity. Since the first few moments of his existence, he's been shunned and heavily abused, even by his own mother, because of his deformed face. He's severely traumatized and has been living in isolation from the rest of society. This isolation is why he's very lonely. It is his isolation that makes his pursuit of love so poignant. Like many fans of the musical, I sympathize with him. So much so that I wish I could do something to end his miserable isolation or to slightly adapt one of his lines, "lead him, save him from his solitude," and help him heal his truama.

Even though he does many bad things throughout the story, I forgive him because I understand what drove him to do those things.

I don't hate anyone.

In fact, not everything I do in life is out of fear of being punished by my God.

I don't have to sympathize with the Phantom. I never did have to. My God didn't command me to feel bad for the Phantom on pain of punishment.

The reason I do sympathize with him is because the musical is written and performed in such a way that the audience is supposed to feel bad for him. In other words, I feel bad for the Phantom because the composer and everyone who is involved with performing the musical did their job. And they did it well. They have done so for 35 years. And I hope they will continue to do so for the next 35 years and beyond.

In fact, The Phantom of the Opera is the reason why I want to go into the mental health field. I'm not hoping to pursue a career in mental health because my God has commanded me to on pain of being punished.

I'm hoping to pursue a career in mental health because the Phantom and his story have awakened a desire to help those with mental health problems within me. The Phantom was robbed of a normal life because through no fault or choice of his own, he had a deformed face. I want people with mental health issues to have some semblance of a normal life and I would like to do what I can to make sure they have that.

I want to help those with mental health issues because it's simply a good thing to do, not because I want to score brownie points for my God.

And I only ask "why are you so upset" when atheists are being disrespectful to me. However, I also try to give you the benefit of the doubt when you're upset because that's common courtesy and decency.

Second, if I do reply with a mean comment, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt and refrain from passing judgements on my character. People say things they don't mean when they're angry, myself included.

I will do my best to extend the same courtesy to you and not take it personally.

Third, when I say that some atheists are rude or have been rude to me, please don't gaslight me by saying I'm smearing atheists and promoting lies. When I say that some atheists are rude or have been rude to me, I'm only saying that because I've literally experienced an atheist being rude to me and I've literally witnessed some atheists being rude to my fellow religious believers.

Fourth, while I will try to not proselytize to you, I will proselytize to others sometimes. While I won't tell you what to say or not say, I do ask that you respect a person's choice to convert to Catholicism.

Please be respectful to me. That means don't imply I'm ignorant, stupid, benighted, and uneducated. Please don't lecture me, try to trip me up with "gotcha" questions, or cross examine me. It means don't leave sarcastic replies to my comments.

And finally, please be patient with my learning curve.

I understand that many of you are very intelligent and very thorough with your research. However, I sometimes feel sorry I've told you what I've researched about a subject when I receive replies like "And you didn't think to research any deeper?!" Replies like that are exactly why I am sometimes hesitant to tell you what I know.

I understand many of you have studied the Bible and researched Christianity extensively in order to defend yourselves against Christians. I have researched atheism in order to defend myself against atheists, particularly edgy militant atheists, but my research about atheism is not as extensive as your research about Christianity. The reason my research about atheism is not as deep as your research about Christianity is I don't interact and debate with atheists all the time. I don't see the point in doing very deep research about atheism when I don't debate with atheists that frequently. When I am not doing chores, spending time with friends and family, taking care of spiritual matters, or working, I am writing stories and blog posts or drawing or coloring or playing a game on my devices or listening to music or reading a good book or watching a good movie or a good TV show.

So some things I'd like to share.

I am not going to say you're going to my religion's version of Hell if you don't subscribe to my religion. I don't call anyone names, so please don't accuse me of name-calling when I haven't done so. I am not going to Bible-thump you or wave a Bible in your face, physically or metaphorically. If you express that you're not interested in being preached at, I will stop proselytizing pretty quickly and leave you alone. I am not going to say that you're immoral and the scum of the earth because you're not interested in subscribing to my faith. I will do my best to not "poke" you if you are an atheist who is not interested in converting to Catholicism.

When I disclose that I have high-functioning autism, I mean it. When I say have trouble reading a room or understanding other people's perspectives due to my autism, I mean it. When I say I have trouble with communication due to my autism, I mean it.

Please understand I disclose that information a lot online so people understand what my limitations are and so people cut me some slack. Please understand that I'm not making excuses or lying to you when I disclose those pieces of information.

Besides having autism, I have OCD tendencies and ADHD. Because I have ADHD, I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria tendencies. The main RSD tendency I experience is extreme sensitivity to criticism. It doesn't matter if the criticism is real or perceived. My RSD tendencies cause me to have big emotional reactions to criticism regardless of whether if it is real or not. I will do my best to manage my RSD tendencies, but please keep in mind that when I react negatively to criticism, it is due to the tendencies of a psychological disorder.

And no, I'm not lying or making the "I'm weak" excuse. I'm telling the truth.

As Brené Brown puts it, let's assume that the other is doing the best they can.

Now, I thought I'd share something that I have in common with you. Even though I am a Christian, I like science and logic, too, even though I don't put as much emphasis on it as you do. In fact, my favorite character from Star Trek is Spock. I like how logical he is and how science-oriented he is. He is, to quote him, "fascinating."

In fact, my favorite alien race in Star Trek is the Vulcans.

Warm Regards,

Susana Christine